Another Thanksgiving come and gone. This year was extra special because we hosted both sides of the family in our home for Thanksgiving. We were not certain that we could fit that many in the house, but as our forefathers did, we made it work and everyone had a wonderful meal. Food and drink were plentiful, the kids played nicely, football on the TV. Typical realy.
When it came time to say grace I was ready. I had picked out a prayer by Emerson that I thought was good and it was non-denomenational (mixed religions in the room means that grace can become a point of contention if not handled with deference to all). Then someting happened that I did not expect. I bowed my head to read the words and got all choked up, almost to the point where I could not finish. I was not even sure why I felt the way I did. No one said anything and i have no idea what the rest of the family thought. So, the only one I needed to explain this to was me. Once everyone was gone and it was on to the long holiday weekend (and the honey-do list) I started to mull it over in my head. When the answer came to me I almost smacked myself in the forehead.
Something so simple.
It had been a Perfect Moment.
The fact that we were all there, together, breaking bread as a family on a beautiful fall day, happy, healthy, not thinking about our troubles or issues.
A Perfect Moment.
In this world, in the age that we live, these moments are rare.
We gather to be thankful for many things. Children, Spouse, family, health (of ourselves and the aforementioned), roof over our heads, job (especially these days), food on the table, etc. This list goes on. The one thing that goes unsaid but is (hopefully) felt by all is that thanks for that moment in time.
It comes and goes in an instant and we never know when (or if) the next one will come.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Looking for trouble
I had a thought this week that some people are just looking for trouble. Most people would say 'well duh', but I am thinking deeper than the obvious on this. how many times do we hear about someone who 'has everything'? Let's face it, most of the time you hear about them because they have done something stupid and now face losing all or some of what they had. Some would say that trouble finds them because everyone want what they have. Others would say that they find trouble because they have over sized 'it will never happen to me' egos. I propose a third alternative that there is something in all of us that does not allow us to feel right if there is not some drama in our lives. The urge may be stronger for some and there may be others who fall into categories one or two before this even kicks in. Nevertheless, it is there, waiting for things to get too comfy and then take over. I could list examples large and small, but you all know them as well as I do. Do we crave a certain amount of chaos? Are we hardwired for this?
Am I asking for trouble just by opening up the subject.
Am I asking for trouble just by opening up the subject.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Been avoiding this...
Well, those who follow this blog know that I have been away for a while. A bit over ten months in fact. Not sure what happened to the first eight months. Time flys, it was a busy winter, kids grow too fast and there is not enough time in the day for all of it.
Excuses.
I do know why I have been away the last two months. It has to do with the tragic loss of the person who challenged me to start a blog in the first place. She was my first follower, my sometimes muse, and a wonderful friend. She left behind joyful memories, and heartbreaking what ifs. Her two sons and her husband will miss her more that anyone can imagine.
We are left asking why? We are left, each one of us, to mourn her in our own way. Part of my way has been to question where I am, what I am doing and where I am headed. As if her death was a horn and light in the fog, telling me to check my charts and instruments so that I am not dashed on the rocks. I have contemplated things great and small since her passing.
When I met this friend in college, I kept a journal. Technically it was a sketchbook and it was required for my major, but when I open them up and read through them, I remember enough to fill in the blanks that were too personal to include in something my professors occasionally read. I kept up with the journal off and on since leaving college. OK, more off than on. I remember thinking after writing my first few blogs and reading others blogs that it was very much like an online version of my old sketchbooks.
So that led me to this question: Should I keep the blog, keep the journal, keep both or loose both? Let's remove the obvious and say that I will not stop doing both. I see value in each, and each one lifts my soul in different ways. Also, should I feel compelled to keep blogging in honor of my dear friend? The answer there is easy. The first thing she said to me about blogging was to do it only if you like it. Never do it because you feel required to do it in any way. Words to blog by. A blog also become public property - once you put it out there, anyone who can find it can read it, so it is different from my journal. I would love to tell you that I came to a concrete decision and have a grand plan but that would be a lie. For now, lets say that I am keeping my options open with regard to the blog and journal.
As for my avoidance of the blog, well that is certainly done. I still miss my friend more than I can express, and it pains me to see her last blog entry and know that there will be no more. But, I am going to soldier on, keep a stiff upper lip, and know that no matter what happens from here on, it's all good if you can laugh.
Excuses.
I do know why I have been away the last two months. It has to do with the tragic loss of the person who challenged me to start a blog in the first place. She was my first follower, my sometimes muse, and a wonderful friend. She left behind joyful memories, and heartbreaking what ifs. Her two sons and her husband will miss her more that anyone can imagine.
We are left asking why? We are left, each one of us, to mourn her in our own way. Part of my way has been to question where I am, what I am doing and where I am headed. As if her death was a horn and light in the fog, telling me to check my charts and instruments so that I am not dashed on the rocks. I have contemplated things great and small since her passing.
When I met this friend in college, I kept a journal. Technically it was a sketchbook and it was required for my major, but when I open them up and read through them, I remember enough to fill in the blanks that were too personal to include in something my professors occasionally read. I kept up with the journal off and on since leaving college. OK, more off than on. I remember thinking after writing my first few blogs and reading others blogs that it was very much like an online version of my old sketchbooks.
So that led me to this question: Should I keep the blog, keep the journal, keep both or loose both? Let's remove the obvious and say that I will not stop doing both. I see value in each, and each one lifts my soul in different ways. Also, should I feel compelled to keep blogging in honor of my dear friend? The answer there is easy. The first thing she said to me about blogging was to do it only if you like it. Never do it because you feel required to do it in any way. Words to blog by. A blog also become public property - once you put it out there, anyone who can find it can read it, so it is different from my journal. I would love to tell you that I came to a concrete decision and have a grand plan but that would be a lie. For now, lets say that I am keeping my options open with regard to the blog and journal.
As for my avoidance of the blog, well that is certainly done. I still miss my friend more than I can express, and it pains me to see her last blog entry and know that there will be no more. But, I am going to soldier on, keep a stiff upper lip, and know that no matter what happens from here on, it's all good if you can laugh.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Blog Challenge
As you may or may not know, this blog entry was prompted by a challenge to a fellow blogger by her 'friend' (not sure if that makes it a second cousin twice removed or a long distance dedication - I always get those mixed up). So, the challenge is to write on one of two subjects:
1. Why do I blog or,
2. Top 10 reasons to read my blog.
Lets go with challenge #1.
As was mentioned by my friend with the 'laugh' blog, both subjects are a bit egotistical and self serving but are simple enough to get the writing flowing and let everyone (no matter the bend of their blog) join in. Well, here goes.
I blog so that the I can sort through the thoughts and feeling that tend to rattle around in my head. Life is chaotic at times and requires frequent introspection lest we lose ourselves amid the constant churning. The blog is my time to slow it down, take a breath and try to pick up the pieces. For that reason, I do not blog every day - heck you would be lucky to see me blog a couple times a month. Not to say that I do not have enough chaos in my day to day to write about, I just choose to wait until it reaches critical mass before attacking it. My blog is for me alone, but if there are others who find it interesting and wish to read it, all the better. I am glad that there are a select few who choose to follow my blog and that there are a handful more that check it out when I link to FB (you know who you are). As one of my prior posts noted, it also serves as a form of journal or sketchbook. In this fashion, it preserves my discussions on things and allows me to go back from time to time and revisit what I was thinking and feeling (as opposed to those who believe their journal will be considered literature upon their passing - I harbor no such delusions). In the end, it will all just rattle around in cyberspace until someone deletes it because it is old and no one reads it. Till then, my blog helps me to keep everything between the lines.
In my world, that is reason enough to do it.
1. Why do I blog or,
2. Top 10 reasons to read my blog.
Lets go with challenge #1.
As was mentioned by my friend with the 'laugh' blog, both subjects are a bit egotistical and self serving but are simple enough to get the writing flowing and let everyone (no matter the bend of their blog) join in. Well, here goes.
I blog so that the I can sort through the thoughts and feeling that tend to rattle around in my head. Life is chaotic at times and requires frequent introspection lest we lose ourselves amid the constant churning. The blog is my time to slow it down, take a breath and try to pick up the pieces. For that reason, I do not blog every day - heck you would be lucky to see me blog a couple times a month. Not to say that I do not have enough chaos in my day to day to write about, I just choose to wait until it reaches critical mass before attacking it. My blog is for me alone, but if there are others who find it interesting and wish to read it, all the better. I am glad that there are a select few who choose to follow my blog and that there are a handful more that check it out when I link to FB (you know who you are). As one of my prior posts noted, it also serves as a form of journal or sketchbook. In this fashion, it preserves my discussions on things and allows me to go back from time to time and revisit what I was thinking and feeling (as opposed to those who believe their journal will be considered literature upon their passing - I harbor no such delusions). In the end, it will all just rattle around in cyberspace until someone deletes it because it is old and no one reads it. Till then, my blog helps me to keep everything between the lines.
In my world, that is reason enough to do it.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Picking Things Up.
The following blog is an excerpt from an the last entry I made in my journal/sketchbook over a year ago. The realization hit me like a load of bricks when I noticed it sitting on top of my dresser and realized that what I used to do on paper with pen is now online. Time will tell which one is the wise choice, but at this moment they will cross.
How much of our lives is spent picking things up? Pick up what you dropped, pick up a book you have forgotten, pick up my children's' toys, and even picking up this journal for the first time in too long. We pick up pearls of knowledge, pick up new phrases, pick up new jobs & customers, pick up our kids and pick up our friends when they are down. We pick up the phone more and more each day while our face-to-face interaction slows. Pick up pennies on the street even though they are not worth much. Pick up a cold when someone is thoughtful enough to bring it to work. Pick up games, pick up trash, pick up sticks, and on and on. To pick up is to grasp, hold, feel, understand and care. It is the curiosity that makes us human and the spirituality that gives us humanity.
May we live long enough to pick up many things.
How much of our lives is spent picking things up? Pick up what you dropped, pick up a book you have forgotten, pick up my children's' toys, and even picking up this journal for the first time in too long. We pick up pearls of knowledge, pick up new phrases, pick up new jobs & customers, pick up our kids and pick up our friends when they are down. We pick up the phone more and more each day while our face-to-face interaction slows. Pick up pennies on the street even though they are not worth much. Pick up a cold when someone is thoughtful enough to bring it to work. Pick up games, pick up trash, pick up sticks, and on and on. To pick up is to grasp, hold, feel, understand and care. It is the curiosity that makes us human and the spirituality that gives us humanity.
May we live long enough to pick up many things.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Friends and Shades of Gray
This past weekend I experienced something new. I was de-friended by someone on facebook.
Let me start by clarifying how I define 'friends' on facebook: If I have accepted your friend request (you asked me)on facebook, there is a 70% chance that I do not actually consider you a friend. Since there is only one category I cannot split hairs - there is only black and white. Most of the non-friend 'friends' are individuals who would be better categorized as acquaintances. They are good people who I have no problem sharing any posts, pictures and contact info I chose to put on facebook. If I requested you as a friend, there is a 100% chance that I consider you a friend - I do not believe in friending people just so you can have more fiends. My hope in writing this is not to cause any paranoia among my facebook friends or to come off as condescending or arrogant. I am CERTAIN that there are individual that I have friended who hit the 'Accept' button simply because it was easier in their minds to go with the flow rather than worry about what that person would think of them if they ignored it. This is how facebook works and why it keeps people interested and engaged - the net controls you sometimes rather than the other way round (that is a whole other blog).
So, getting back to my de-friending. Since this is the first time it has happened so far (there may be more if anyone reads this blog), I was not certain how it would go. First off, there were no bells and whistles, no alert via email, no flashing box when you log in. The only way I knew was that I looked at this individuals post on Friday afternoon and when I went to check it out again on Saturday he was not in my friends list. Now, I know what you are asking - which category of 'friend' was he to begin with. He was in the acquaintance category, subcategory of former work colleague. His last post mentioned that he was having a change at his current work and since we work in the same field (as small one at that), I suspect that he chose this as a moment to cut ties so I could/would not comment on this change or pass on what was happening to others in the industry (this brings me to a whole other potential blog entry - where to draw the line on postings if you have co-workers as facebook friends). Reality is that while I found his post of interest, I had no plans to comment on his situation other than a potential 'chin up' type comment. Since we had not commented or communicated on facebook in a few months, I thought that even this might be viewed as opportunistic, hence why I did not comment upon first reading his update.
OK, so what is the take home message here? For me, the take home message is that everyone wants to be accepted and feel important (I hope we can all agree on that), and when you are 'defriended' your first feeling will most likely be a twinge of hurt. Reality is, if he felt that strongly about closing off that access to his life then he has me categorized lower on his own scale than I have him on mine. I am OK with this. I do wish him the best and hope that it all works out.
This has made me consider evaluating my facebook friends list and deciding if I should trim it a bit. If I did, should I message the defriendees (did I just make up a word?) prior to the defriending? If I was planning to defriend you, would you like to know or would you rather find out by happenstance? Would you try to talk me out of it or would you quietly accept my choice? Of course it all depends on what shade of gray I am in your corner of the black and white facebook universe.
Let me start by clarifying how I define 'friends' on facebook: If I have accepted your friend request (you asked me)on facebook, there is a 70% chance that I do not actually consider you a friend. Since there is only one category I cannot split hairs - there is only black and white. Most of the non-friend 'friends' are individuals who would be better categorized as acquaintances. They are good people who I have no problem sharing any posts, pictures and contact info I chose to put on facebook. If I requested you as a friend, there is a 100% chance that I consider you a friend - I do not believe in friending people just so you can have more fiends. My hope in writing this is not to cause any paranoia among my facebook friends or to come off as condescending or arrogant. I am CERTAIN that there are individual that I have friended who hit the 'Accept' button simply because it was easier in their minds to go with the flow rather than worry about what that person would think of them if they ignored it. This is how facebook works and why it keeps people interested and engaged - the net controls you sometimes rather than the other way round (that is a whole other blog).
So, getting back to my de-friending. Since this is the first time it has happened so far (there may be more if anyone reads this blog), I was not certain how it would go. First off, there were no bells and whistles, no alert via email, no flashing box when you log in. The only way I knew was that I looked at this individuals post on Friday afternoon and when I went to check it out again on Saturday he was not in my friends list. Now, I know what you are asking - which category of 'friend' was he to begin with. He was in the acquaintance category, subcategory of former work colleague. His last post mentioned that he was having a change at his current work and since we work in the same field (as small one at that), I suspect that he chose this as a moment to cut ties so I could/would not comment on this change or pass on what was happening to others in the industry (this brings me to a whole other potential blog entry - where to draw the line on postings if you have co-workers as facebook friends). Reality is that while I found his post of interest, I had no plans to comment on his situation other than a potential 'chin up' type comment. Since we had not commented or communicated on facebook in a few months, I thought that even this might be viewed as opportunistic, hence why I did not comment upon first reading his update.
OK, so what is the take home message here? For me, the take home message is that everyone wants to be accepted and feel important (I hope we can all agree on that), and when you are 'defriended' your first feeling will most likely be a twinge of hurt. Reality is, if he felt that strongly about closing off that access to his life then he has me categorized lower on his own scale than I have him on mine. I am OK with this. I do wish him the best and hope that it all works out.
This has made me consider evaluating my facebook friends list and deciding if I should trim it a bit. If I did, should I message the defriendees (did I just make up a word?) prior to the defriending? If I was planning to defriend you, would you like to know or would you rather find out by happenstance? Would you try to talk me out of it or would you quietly accept my choice? Of course it all depends on what shade of gray I am in your corner of the black and white facebook universe.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Goin Mobile
Moving into uncharted (for me) territory - blogging from a mobile device. My DW recently upgraded to a Droid phone (I call it R2D2) and it can do alnost anything that a computer can do. Seems this should seem like a normal progression, but as I am logging in I was thinking how odd it will be to compose a blog via phone rather than sitting at the keyboard. For me, it is a change in thought process. Some day soon there may not be a distinction between mobile and not as we will all be carrying our computers on our belts. The question is, will this liberate us or will it further bog us down since we will always be connected.
Myself, I am cautiously optimistic and guardedly worried all at once. Hopefully R2 will be an ally and not an anchor.
Myself, I am cautiously optimistic and guardedly worried all at once. Hopefully R2 will be an ally and not an anchor.
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